So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause. Or "How much can we get for our souls?"

My title comes from Senator Amidala(wife of Darth Vader and mother to Luke and Leia Skywalker) after witnessing the dissolution of the Republic into the Galactic Empire. As I have watched college football crumble into the vile and base creature it is, I felt very close with Senator Amidala. College football used to be a grand shining knight who championed justice and amateur competition. Now it is a shadow of itself as it quickly walks to the prostitute of T.V. money. It's collar is up as it goes inside that wretched brothel so as to not be seen. The great has fallen. The evil seeds that were sown by the creation of the B.C.S. and the signing of contracts by conferences with T.V. channels have blossomed into enormous Rafflesia flowers.(these flowers are the biggest flowers in the world and give off a stench of rotting flesh. fitting I thought.) I feel much like King Tirian and his noble friend/unicorn Jewel, we have lived long enough to witness the corruption of what we have loved. If only I had died yesterday, I would have only known college football in a happier time. Now I said that for dramatic effect, I do not wish I would have died from what is happening to college football. Life will go on and be fantastic, I am just trying to show what is happening is as vile as Shift and Ginger bringing on the destruction of Narnia.
The blind lust of money is hitting home more for me than others because of the repercussions on my beloved Kansas Jayhawks. They are going to be a school without a conference. The evil B.C.S. will not let it have any type of bowl worth winning now. I know the limits of Kansas football, they are not Notre Dame. They do not that the history to buy them good bowl opportunity. Notre Dame was great but look at them now, they have no conference and now rely on ridiculous exemptions to get them top tier bowls and T.V. contracts that try to force people to care about them playing Duke in football. If they dance in front of you long enough you will start caring right? As much as the demise of KU football hurts, the real tragedy will be Kansas basketball. The Jayhawks have one of the most tradition rich, successful, loved, storied, great programs in the history of college SPORTS. Nobody wins conference titles like the Jayhawks. Now they may just wander the countryside of college basektball, looking for someone to play a non-conference game against them in February. I sigh...and wonder if this woe was brought upon Kansas by itself. Has the sin of firing Mangino caught up with them this quickly? Would the Solar System get away with kicking Jupiter out? I think not. University of Kansas, I ask you to put ash on your head, clothe yourself in sackcloth, and hire the biggest coach in all sports back. If you do this, the world of college sports will come back into balance. For now though, Anakin Skywalker has been grossly transformed into Darth Vader. The prophesy was misread, balance to the Force he did not bring. What or who will become Luke? Who will heal Vader back into Anakin?

Those of you who raise your eyebrow in boredom and skepticism at this post, beware. This killing of college sports is a mirror image of our country. Our nation is being bought and sold at the price of out freedom, and like socialistic health care not coming until 2014, the Big 12 will live on for a few more years in awkward feet shifting silence. The end is near and its spirit is gone but it has to go on for a few years until the money whores have everything is place to steal the teams for good.
P.S. I also would like to take this time to ask the Mountain West to accept KU and KSU into your family so they do not have to make a new conference called, "The Pitiable 2", because those commercials would be terribly short.

My only friend...the end.

Closed a chapter of my life today. Today was the last day of school at Hiawatha Middle School. This has been maybe the longest 10 months of my life. I have hated alot about my job this year, but at the same time I have met some fantastic people who have influenced my life and career. Twas odd indeed this morning as I drove to school, the song that popped up on my i-pod shuffle was "The End" by the Doors. This is the end of a part of my life that was small in space and time, yet huge in my mental and future development. I learned more about myself in these last 10 months than perhaps the last 10 years of my life. Maybe that is an overstatement but I have always been a fan of overstatements. I worked with six teachers from the 5th and 6th grades. I can honestly say that all six have influenced my future decisions and philosophies involving my teaching career. I will not go much further into that, as my fingers are starting to hurt. I feel like I should have words much deeper and metaphysical right now, but I am just really tired. It has been a long school year...

One pill, two pill, three pill..bliss.

Aldous Huxley's dystopian novel, "Brave New World", may be the most haunting look at the future society of man that I have ever come in contact with. In contrast to Orwell's "1984", Huxley's futuristic civilization is controlled by pleasure and ease instead of force and fear. People are not scared of stepping out of line because they fear retribution, people are not even considering stepping out of line. Staying in line is easy and full of little delights. This is what makes Huxley's novel more plausible, in my opinion, than Orwell's. After the development of modern republican democracy, people have stopped putting up with cruel and oppressive governments. The Soviet Union is the most successful example of a gov. imposing it's absolute will with force and terror, and it lasted less than a century. For short term results, brutal tactics may be enjoyed and employed by tyrants. Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito tried to take over the world by acts of violence followed by forced obedience. This obviously did not take with the citizens of the rest of the world. Even if the Axis Powers had won World War Two, I believe that eventually an enormous rebellion would have taken place. People do not like to be suppressed against their will. We have had a taste of "government by the people" and we like doing things our way. If men and women of power ever want to get serious about world domination, then they will drop the goose-stepping gestapo act and become our buddy who lets us do what we will, shoving soma down our throats to ease our "suffering" in this harsh world. This is what Huxley saw and I think Bradbury as well with his myth "Fahrenheit 451". Be subversive and herd people into their pens. Give them the feeling of self rule and freedom, and bingo, world rule for a long time. Most people are idiots and will not yearn for true freedom as long as they have creature comforts. People do not want choice, they just don't want be pushed. What is spooky to me is the fact that this may have already happened. We may be living under "our Ford" already. Maybe you should not read this...we could have our one-way ticket punched to the Falklands already. I thank God that I have investments elsewhere besides this planetary dimension, so I will not need to escape this enslavement at the end of a rope in a secluded lighthouse. Mind you, without God that would be the only sensible and freeing option if our world ever becomes totally ruled by fleshly desires.

This chair has awful lumbar support.

Just re-read some Chronicles of Narnia. I started with one that is in a 7-way tie for my favorite, The Silver Chair. Actually this would probably be my second favorite after The voyage of the Dawn Treader, because they both have my favorite character in them, Eustace Scrubb. His character is so much like humanity. Before meeting and getting to know the followers of Aslan, and finally Aslan himself, he is a treacherous slug. The person whom you cheer for to get beat up severely. You absolutely despise him for many chapters in the Treader. I will not get into that book now, but you should know that he eventually decides for Aslan over self and becomes my favorite character in the seven books. By the time we get to The Silver Chair, the following book, he is a Narnian vet with a new outlook on life and others. Anywho...The Chair reads like the life of saint. First the calling of Jill Poll and Eustace Scrubb, which saves them from the certain dangers of this world, yet asks them to face far graver dangers of another world. Poll is given a set of instructional signs which to follow whilst on their quest. These signs told to her by Aslan himself, will guide them to the finding want they need to find. Yet what I love is that never does Aslan promise that following the signs will ensure a safe completion of the quest. By following the signs they may indeed bring about theirs and others death. Like all humans, Poll and Scrubb struggle with following their Lord's signs and instructions mostly because of the desire for creature comforts and fear. Yet, they are provided with a conscious and protector. They travel into the wasted north of Narnia with one of the most beloved persons of Narnia, Puddleglum the Marshwiggle. He is the most despairing and positively negative creatures. Yes I meant to write that. He sees the absolute worst in every situation, but no matter what he sees, he is always determined to face the worst is need be. There is nothing so dangerous to the powers of evil than a pessimist who is to stubborn to listen to himself. This is what Puddleglum is.
I do not want to ruin the book for readers who have not finished this book so I will try to be vague. A thought that permeated my mind alot when I read this book is the question of destiny and will. The trio miff following the signs frequently yet it seems that by not following them they still end up finding their desired destination. God's/Aslan's will will always trump our mistakes. His plan will be accomplished. We can choose to follow the signs and instructions or not. We are called to follow to seemingly carry out His plan, yet when we stumble, the plans do not go array, we will just not be following what He calls us to. So our the signs for us? Are they just invitations to participate in His cosmic plans? Will what He wants be carried out by someone or something, or will He permit our mistakes to alter things? What if going to the House of Harfang resulted in the trio's death? Would the Prince and Narnia be saved by someone or something else or would the Queen's plan be carried out? Maybe it would have and then some other children would have been called into Narnia to thwart her reign similar to The Lion, the Witch and the wardrobe. This is the mystical knot in which i find myself entwined when I read this book and I love it.
P.S. For those who know this book, I believe the world of Bism to be the literary manifestation of Lewis' belief in aliens. Me to.

minority report

So I'm moving to Utah. The Provo area to be sort of exact. When I tell people this, they almost always ask, if they do not know me well, "Oh are you Mormon?" I reply, "No, I just like mountains and Robert Redford." People who know me wonder why I am choosing to drop my very successful para-educator career and careen off into the sunset following the wagon ruts of B. Young into the heart of right wing conservative mormonland. Well honestly things have just fallen into place really. I'm 25, single, restless, and looking for something to do. I really do like the mountains and Robert Redford and his Sundance Ranch really do raise my eyebrows with keen interest and excitement. My good buddy Jon Lehman is also alighting in Utah. We are the last of a breed. That breed is single guys who once lived and ruled and land called Upper 900s Owens. We are also Bones. If you do not know what that is, then you were never supposed to know. That is all I have to say about The Bones. Anyways...I feel that living in proximity to him could turn into a good time. The thing that is really causing alot of excitement for me is the fact that for the first time in my life, I will be a huge social minority. I read on Wikipedia (yes i use the wik for everything and believe it to be a most reliable source) that 88% of the population is LDS and 98% of the practicing religious adherents are LDS. This excites me. I have visited the area and the Christians have great community because when you are outnumbered you have to. I am also pleased to note that in the town of American Fork where I am helping to coach football, the movie The Sandlot was almost entirely filmed. That alone should suffice my exodus there.

Ramble bamble here is the whip

I started to write a blog a couple minutes ago and found that I had nothing to say even worth a left click of the mouse so I stopped. I am not making very good progress on becoming an author who does nothing all day but think up utterly fantastic stories that will change people's lives and thoughts. Is there anyway that one can cheat in becoming a best selling author? I will do it. I see now what Faust was thinking when he made his more than deadly deal...the want to do great things without the will/talent is terrible. It makes you feel like a balloon animal. People laugh at you and find you amusing for 23 seconds at most, then they pop you. Alas, I am going to go work on a story about rabbits.
Love Nathan

Warm bottoms

The weather is warm again. I honestly thought that i may never feel the warmth of the sun upon my face ever again. Similar to Lando Calrisian, the director of Cloud City in Star Wars, I had given into the fact that winter was the same as Darth Vader. I could do nothing against him, so I may as well let him bully me around, as long as I can survive. Thanks be to God, I did not lure my old buddy into a trap so as to let him me frozen in carbonate for the fat slob of a crime boss. I persevered most cowardly i must say, yet i did indeed persevere. I'm here feeling the evening breeze coax my body into thinking of seas and plains of yesteryear, (how the heck to you spell that word?)while my mind visits the shores of Troy to converse with Achilles and try to convince him to sail for home with his valiant Myrmidons and let Troy survive the onslaught of passion the Greeks bestow upon her.

So, back on the topic at hand...warm weather has finally broken though the lines of frost and ice to rest easy beside the gentle rains of spring, and for this i am thankful. In a very small, almost unmentionable way, the first fingers of spring are so poetic and allegorically showing the defeat of cold death at the hands of out Lord Jesus. I am no Biblical historian, so I do not know if this time of the year was really when Christ rose from hades in Glory, but I do know that for this simpleton, the blooming flowers and radiant sunshine scream "RESURRECTION!!!!"

I now shall leave you, so I can learn to play the harmonica.

The Brothers Karwhaaaaaat?

One of the bigger accomplishments in my recent life has been the completion of the Fyodor Dostoyevsky novel "The Brothers Karamazov" with having a decent idea of what was going on at the end. I got hooked on Dostoyevsky when I lived alone in Des Moines. My friend Molls lent me several classic novels to peruse so as to break the monotony of myself. I saw she had a copy of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor and I knew that if I ever wanted to be taken seriously by the riff raff and the aristocrats of this world, I must read this book. I read it and loved it, nay I chewed every page with the thought of being with its wordage forever. I digress. My thoughts on Crime and Punishment will come at a later date. Now after my immersion into the thoughts of the psychological, mystical, bereaved Russian, I ransacked my Dad's library for any other written words by this true literary treasure. I found several short stories that were delightful, morose, and magnificent tarts of genius. I finally went to B&N and slapped down fifteen dollars on the counter and walked out with a two for one special. I was wealthier by one copy of the Idiot(yet to be read) and one copy of "The Brothers Karamozov" I will remember that day forever. I became a literature adult. I walked to my car gripping the small green plastic sack containing the two books that made me better than the person walking out with a copy of the twilight series in their claw. (authors note: I choose not to capitalize the twilight name because I believe it to be lacking any quality to be labeled fantasy, romance, action, or novel. I think that author whoever they are simply saw that teenage girls are hurting and often put vampires in a category of something they like to rebel with bcause they are dark and evil creatures, and then she put a post-modern love story in them. It makes me mad that people call those books stories about vampires and werewolves. They are about hormonal teenagers with SOME characteristics of said dark beasts. You cannot totally change the essence of mythical beings and claim its fine!! It is like writing a story about Orics from Middle Earth wearing fine clothes and drinking sherry whilst chatting about the "true motives behind Lord Sauron's politics", it just cannot work.) Thanks for putting up with that. I needed to vent and I saw an opening, so I attacked with a full battalion. Now, where was I? Oh yes my literary superiority. So now I had purchased these two books. I went home, set them on the bookshelf and dreamed of the time where I would be mentally prepared to open them. If there was one thing I learned from my previous readings of Dostoyevsky, it was that you needed to be on your sharpest mental edge to try to understand his rhetoric and themes. Months went by without me being able to pick them up. I went through Hemingway, Dumas, Hugo, and Tolkien again before I was ready for them. I finally breached the cover of "The Brothers K". I liked to use "K" as a substitute for "Karamazov" The word is very difficult for the mid-western tongue to grasp. Yet when I learned of the correct pronunciation from one Robert Stouffer, I relished instructing persons on the correct diction of the name. I am sure people would hear me spout this very Russian and mysterious title and instantly their respectometer would rapidly ascent towards the heavens in relation to yours truly. Then I started reading it. I felt like a 12 year old child sitting in a master's level theology, language, sociology, and psychology class all at once. The author is so much more brilliant and insightful than I will ever be. I am just glad he decided to write in such a manner that is vaguely attainable for the mortal reader. I compare the first 6 or 7 chapters to a person lost at sea. They are treading water for an immeasurable amount of time with the only thought is to not drown in the depth or be bitten in half by a shark. I felt that my struggle was in absolute vain. Then finally, one of two things happened. Either the author felt guilty about writing a book that most people would not understand and decided to cheapen his thoughts on paper or I became a bit more enlightened. I would like to think the later but I fear at most, it is a combination of both. Nevertheless I was no longer treading water to not drown or end up as something stuck in between a Great White's teeth. I saw land! And on the land was a fine restaurantee with succulent rack o lamb and robust Merlot. I swam to shore with the vigor of a male lifeguard going to the rescue of a pretty lady struggling in the deep end of the city pool. I could hardly put the novel down. He addressed issues of what every intelligent and meaningful person needs to ask about in their life. Again, I shan't dive to deeply into the content of the flesh of this wonderful body of work, so as to let you enjoy it as I did. I will say though, that every person should at the very least read the chapter titled, "The Grand Inquisitor". It is so profound that itself is published as a separate book. Well I want to ramble forever but alas I have awakened the pale wanderer of the steppes inside of me and must go start "The Idiot" or maybe Tolstoy's "War and Peace"

Nostarovia!

Learning Lent

So for the first time in my life I am doing a whole-lent fast this year. I have fasted in the past and I never felt I got the "full effect" of it. Maybe I have had unclear notions of why one should fast or what it is doing for you. I was craving a bottle of Mountain Dew soda pop yesterday and a thought came to me. Since I started abstaining from pop on Ash Wednesday, I have continually wanted pop more than usual. I can humbly say I have not given in, even when I ordered a delicious pepperoni pizza the other night that would have been absolutely magical with the addition of "The Dew" copyright Flinkman family I resisted. I have felt as I usually feel with fasts of mine, half-hearted with my attempts at pertinence and spirituality. This time I craved what I had given up more than I craved it when I was not fasting from it. Now please stop thinking "Wow Nate is sooooooo holy" I know you were right there and I'm sure if I stopped here I could have many girlfriends at TIU's F.A.T, but neither here nor there. I have decided multiple times to break the fast a sip a sweet soday, yes soday. So the intent was there but at the last second I did not indulge. I have wandered around my point long enough. The point is this, I have not felt uber spiritual or holy or even more connected to Christ through this fast,( I genuinely want all those things mind you) but each time I have wanted a bottle of pop and resisted, I have thought of why I am abstaining. I am abstaing to help remind myself of what is approaching, the remembrance of The Christ's Death and the celebration of His Most Glorious Resurrection! Is that all that the Lent fast is for? Drawing our minds continually towards the fact that Jesus gave up his life on a cross with all of our sins burdened up on his soul, and then defeated the curse and arose victoriously up from the grave, alive. When the Monday after Easter Sunday rolls around, I will open the 2-liter of Mountain Lighting and chug gluttonously and now by feasting on what I had fasted from, I can remember it all over again. I wonder if this made any sense?

Big Bruce

A friend of mine died today. Bruce Carter was a teammate of mine at Trinity International University. He also lived in John Lehman, Luke Hitchcock, Jake Flinkman, and my suite for 2 or 3 weeks while his housing situation was figured out. Some of the funniest moments in upper 900 history involved that man. I cannot think of one person that did not think Bruce was the absolute Bee's Knee's. Few people could make you laugh like Big Bruce Carter and few people could play football like him as well. The man was an incredible combination of size and strength. I personally watched him cover the fasted player on our team in a DB drill and he was a D lineman. John Lehman and Cole Goodenow were fortunate enough to be able to have a history class with this comedic genius. Its hard to explain how he was so funny in that class if you did not know Proff Gundlach, but if you did and you knew Bruce, you would know what a combo that was. I love remembering these great memories but it also greatly saddens me to think that this man I called a friend, is no longer with us. I trust from what he professed that he is with our Father Christ Jesus.
Bruce Carter you will be missed and I raise my glass in your memory.

Here are my thoughts...take them, I don't want them anymore.

I think I will start discussing the books I read on here. I am a man without much of a social life so I spend alot of my time reading books or embarking on meta-physical journeys. Since I am putting my opinions on here about samples of literature I hope people who disagree with what I write type terrible things and throw cyber cabbage at me in the stocks.

Watership Down

Picked this book up because the picture on the front was fantastic and I had always seen it laying around my Dad's study and I figured that if it was good enough for my Pops to read it then I could dip my toe in it. Well once my literary phalange was submerged, it was so good I rolled over into a gainer and went under for awhile. (this is where someone should shout at me for rolling analogy after analogy on top of each other) I never knew the lives of rabbits could be so fascinating or magical. I could hardly put the book down. I read it anytime I got the chance. The characters were superbly and seriously crafted. I laud Richard Adams for taking the trials of rabbits in such a somber tone. From the dialogue one could not tell this story of rabbits from the stories of the brave pioneers traversing the dangers of the North American West. Hazel, Fiver, Bigwig, General Woundwort, Cowslip, and the genius Kehaar are seared into my thought.

I do not think Adams meant for this story to be one which mirrors the political/social/religious atmosphere, but he put so much essence of human behavior and life into his characters that issues naturally pop up. I shant go into these much because you should not be lazy and read my amazing thoughts on the book instead of picking it up and reading it yourself. I promise if you are worth your salt as a human, you will enjoy this book. I'm tired of typing so that is all.

Fahrenheit 3/21

Well the bill passed. I sit and wonder what is next for this country? I applaud the Representative from Ohio for his plea for sanity. Alas there really is no hope to fight against the powers that be. This is a gloomy day. The government is starting to run everything. Where will we be in 10 more years? Our news is reading like a 1950s futuristic book about the strangle-hold government suppressing the human spirit. Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, there is an island with a single white building on a hill. This building has only one large table with 5 to 10 people sitting around it. They are all laughing because the land of the free took an enormous step towards chains. This step was formed over many decades of slow and steady scheming by they the power elite and they finally have seen the fruits of their labors. Maybe I am being a little dramatic but I feel dramatic right now. Well I have said too much now. Big Brother is on it's way over no doubt. Ray Bradbury, George Orwell, Wachowski Brothers, Huxley, Lewis, all your fears and worries you wrote about are starting to come true.
V is for Vendetta

now we march

It has been said that blogging is basically the same as facebook status posts and twitter only longer and more in-depth. This exactly why i feel like a person still after i have written in a blog. The problems i have with twitter and FB status updates is this, they are mindless drivel. My blogs may be as well, but as least i went to the trouble to put my drivel in sentence form and i used complete words. The only joy I get from FB status updates is that by reading them I can fell so much better about myself about NOT doing what those people are doing, turning on their computer, opening the Internet, signing on to their profile, writing a broken sentence with made up words (Internet words like lol, c u l8tr, ttyl, omg, r u, are meant to save you time as you type INSTANT messages instead of talking to someone with your voice, or heaven forbid writing a letter) about what you are doing this exact moment. The same goes with the abomination twitter. I wonder if people know that what they are doing every 20 min is not that important to everyone else. So back to why what i do is acceptable. I look at blogging as above the fore-mentioned, even with newspaper columns(paid less though), and lower than true authorship. If twitter was something where you wrote down complete thoughts and feelings, then i would be on board with it, alas it is not. FB and twitter are the products of our microwave culture. We the people cannot stand to sit down and read anything over 2 fragmented sentences unless it is an article about the latest celebrity break up or break down. Our leading magazines have the reading levels of a 4th grader. The most watched shows are "reality" shows. Rock and roll music has no guitar or keyboard solos. They are all three minute pieces about absolutely nothing but getting money. I apologize for my tangents. I have strayed off my chosen path so I shall sign off and go check people's facebook statuses.
i love you all

no title here sir

So i have decided to blog. I find this very narcissistic of myself. I don't really know what ill write yet but hopefully it gets published and i will never have to work again because of the money i get from the movie that's made of it. I have become a wannabe author. I cannot seem to get much more than a chapter of any story done so far but i enjoy it still. Maybe writing on here with stimulate my writing gland and the juices of creativity will overflow. So not sure what people write on these things...but I feel it will get better. Coffee has been on my mind today. One job i think i could do would to be a coffee farmer. My imagination takes me to a place where i oversee all these groovy dressed guys working coffee fields happily whilst i sit on a porch drinking the blackest most delish brew around. But i bet coffee farmers are like movie producers or fast-food resturant owners, in that they dont like movies much or eat their cheeseburgers. Oh well.
The jayhawks lost yesterday in the second round of the tourney...no i shant write anymore, the pain is still to near.
good night and good luck