The Brothers Karwhaaaaaat?

One of the bigger accomplishments in my recent life has been the completion of the Fyodor Dostoyevsky novel "The Brothers Karamazov" with having a decent idea of what was going on at the end. I got hooked on Dostoyevsky when I lived alone in Des Moines. My friend Molls lent me several classic novels to peruse so as to break the monotony of myself. I saw she had a copy of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor and I knew that if I ever wanted to be taken seriously by the riff raff and the aristocrats of this world, I must read this book. I read it and loved it, nay I chewed every page with the thought of being with its wordage forever. I digress. My thoughts on Crime and Punishment will come at a later date. Now after my immersion into the thoughts of the psychological, mystical, bereaved Russian, I ransacked my Dad's library for any other written words by this true literary treasure. I found several short stories that were delightful, morose, and magnificent tarts of genius. I finally went to B&N and slapped down fifteen dollars on the counter and walked out with a two for one special. I was wealthier by one copy of the Idiot(yet to be read) and one copy of "The Brothers Karamozov" I will remember that day forever. I became a literature adult. I walked to my car gripping the small green plastic sack containing the two books that made me better than the person walking out with a copy of the twilight series in their claw. (authors note: I choose not to capitalize the twilight name because I believe it to be lacking any quality to be labeled fantasy, romance, action, or novel. I think that author whoever they are simply saw that teenage girls are hurting and often put vampires in a category of something they like to rebel with bcause they are dark and evil creatures, and then she put a post-modern love story in them. It makes me mad that people call those books stories about vampires and werewolves. They are about hormonal teenagers with SOME characteristics of said dark beasts. You cannot totally change the essence of mythical beings and claim its fine!! It is like writing a story about Orics from Middle Earth wearing fine clothes and drinking sherry whilst chatting about the "true motives behind Lord Sauron's politics", it just cannot work.) Thanks for putting up with that. I needed to vent and I saw an opening, so I attacked with a full battalion. Now, where was I? Oh yes my literary superiority. So now I had purchased these two books. I went home, set them on the bookshelf and dreamed of the time where I would be mentally prepared to open them. If there was one thing I learned from my previous readings of Dostoyevsky, it was that you needed to be on your sharpest mental edge to try to understand his rhetoric and themes. Months went by without me being able to pick them up. I went through Hemingway, Dumas, Hugo, and Tolkien again before I was ready for them. I finally breached the cover of "The Brothers K". I liked to use "K" as a substitute for "Karamazov" The word is very difficult for the mid-western tongue to grasp. Yet when I learned of the correct pronunciation from one Robert Stouffer, I relished instructing persons on the correct diction of the name. I am sure people would hear me spout this very Russian and mysterious title and instantly their respectometer would rapidly ascent towards the heavens in relation to yours truly. Then I started reading it. I felt like a 12 year old child sitting in a master's level theology, language, sociology, and psychology class all at once. The author is so much more brilliant and insightful than I will ever be. I am just glad he decided to write in such a manner that is vaguely attainable for the mortal reader. I compare the first 6 or 7 chapters to a person lost at sea. They are treading water for an immeasurable amount of time with the only thought is to not drown in the depth or be bitten in half by a shark. I felt that my struggle was in absolute vain. Then finally, one of two things happened. Either the author felt guilty about writing a book that most people would not understand and decided to cheapen his thoughts on paper or I became a bit more enlightened. I would like to think the later but I fear at most, it is a combination of both. Nevertheless I was no longer treading water to not drown or end up as something stuck in between a Great White's teeth. I saw land! And on the land was a fine restaurantee with succulent rack o lamb and robust Merlot. I swam to shore with the vigor of a male lifeguard going to the rescue of a pretty lady struggling in the deep end of the city pool. I could hardly put the novel down. He addressed issues of what every intelligent and meaningful person needs to ask about in their life. Again, I shan't dive to deeply into the content of the flesh of this wonderful body of work, so as to let you enjoy it as I did. I will say though, that every person should at the very least read the chapter titled, "The Grand Inquisitor". It is so profound that itself is published as a separate book. Well I want to ramble forever but alas I have awakened the pale wanderer of the steppes inside of me and must go start "The Idiot" or maybe Tolstoy's "War and Peace"

Nostarovia!

Learning Lent

So for the first time in my life I am doing a whole-lent fast this year. I have fasted in the past and I never felt I got the "full effect" of it. Maybe I have had unclear notions of why one should fast or what it is doing for you. I was craving a bottle of Mountain Dew soda pop yesterday and a thought came to me. Since I started abstaining from pop on Ash Wednesday, I have continually wanted pop more than usual. I can humbly say I have not given in, even when I ordered a delicious pepperoni pizza the other night that would have been absolutely magical with the addition of "The Dew" copyright Flinkman family I resisted. I have felt as I usually feel with fasts of mine, half-hearted with my attempts at pertinence and spirituality. This time I craved what I had given up more than I craved it when I was not fasting from it. Now please stop thinking "Wow Nate is sooooooo holy" I know you were right there and I'm sure if I stopped here I could have many girlfriends at TIU's F.A.T, but neither here nor there. I have decided multiple times to break the fast a sip a sweet soday, yes soday. So the intent was there but at the last second I did not indulge. I have wandered around my point long enough. The point is this, I have not felt uber spiritual or holy or even more connected to Christ through this fast,( I genuinely want all those things mind you) but each time I have wanted a bottle of pop and resisted, I have thought of why I am abstaining. I am abstaing to help remind myself of what is approaching, the remembrance of The Christ's Death and the celebration of His Most Glorious Resurrection! Is that all that the Lent fast is for? Drawing our minds continually towards the fact that Jesus gave up his life on a cross with all of our sins burdened up on his soul, and then defeated the curse and arose victoriously up from the grave, alive. When the Monday after Easter Sunday rolls around, I will open the 2-liter of Mountain Lighting and chug gluttonously and now by feasting on what I had fasted from, I can remember it all over again. I wonder if this made any sense?

Big Bruce

A friend of mine died today. Bruce Carter was a teammate of mine at Trinity International University. He also lived in John Lehman, Luke Hitchcock, Jake Flinkman, and my suite for 2 or 3 weeks while his housing situation was figured out. Some of the funniest moments in upper 900 history involved that man. I cannot think of one person that did not think Bruce was the absolute Bee's Knee's. Few people could make you laugh like Big Bruce Carter and few people could play football like him as well. The man was an incredible combination of size and strength. I personally watched him cover the fasted player on our team in a DB drill and he was a D lineman. John Lehman and Cole Goodenow were fortunate enough to be able to have a history class with this comedic genius. Its hard to explain how he was so funny in that class if you did not know Proff Gundlach, but if you did and you knew Bruce, you would know what a combo that was. I love remembering these great memories but it also greatly saddens me to think that this man I called a friend, is no longer with us. I trust from what he professed that he is with our Father Christ Jesus.
Bruce Carter you will be missed and I raise my glass in your memory.

Here are my thoughts...take them, I don't want them anymore.

I think I will start discussing the books I read on here. I am a man without much of a social life so I spend alot of my time reading books or embarking on meta-physical journeys. Since I am putting my opinions on here about samples of literature I hope people who disagree with what I write type terrible things and throw cyber cabbage at me in the stocks.

Watership Down

Picked this book up because the picture on the front was fantastic and I had always seen it laying around my Dad's study and I figured that if it was good enough for my Pops to read it then I could dip my toe in it. Well once my literary phalange was submerged, it was so good I rolled over into a gainer and went under for awhile. (this is where someone should shout at me for rolling analogy after analogy on top of each other) I never knew the lives of rabbits could be so fascinating or magical. I could hardly put the book down. I read it anytime I got the chance. The characters were superbly and seriously crafted. I laud Richard Adams for taking the trials of rabbits in such a somber tone. From the dialogue one could not tell this story of rabbits from the stories of the brave pioneers traversing the dangers of the North American West. Hazel, Fiver, Bigwig, General Woundwort, Cowslip, and the genius Kehaar are seared into my thought.

I do not think Adams meant for this story to be one which mirrors the political/social/religious atmosphere, but he put so much essence of human behavior and life into his characters that issues naturally pop up. I shant go into these much because you should not be lazy and read my amazing thoughts on the book instead of picking it up and reading it yourself. I promise if you are worth your salt as a human, you will enjoy this book. I'm tired of typing so that is all.

Fahrenheit 3/21

Well the bill passed. I sit and wonder what is next for this country? I applaud the Representative from Ohio for his plea for sanity. Alas there really is no hope to fight against the powers that be. This is a gloomy day. The government is starting to run everything. Where will we be in 10 more years? Our news is reading like a 1950s futuristic book about the strangle-hold government suppressing the human spirit. Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, there is an island with a single white building on a hill. This building has only one large table with 5 to 10 people sitting around it. They are all laughing because the land of the free took an enormous step towards chains. This step was formed over many decades of slow and steady scheming by they the power elite and they finally have seen the fruits of their labors. Maybe I am being a little dramatic but I feel dramatic right now. Well I have said too much now. Big Brother is on it's way over no doubt. Ray Bradbury, George Orwell, Wachowski Brothers, Huxley, Lewis, all your fears and worries you wrote about are starting to come true.
V is for Vendetta

now we march

It has been said that blogging is basically the same as facebook status posts and twitter only longer and more in-depth. This exactly why i feel like a person still after i have written in a blog. The problems i have with twitter and FB status updates is this, they are mindless drivel. My blogs may be as well, but as least i went to the trouble to put my drivel in sentence form and i used complete words. The only joy I get from FB status updates is that by reading them I can fell so much better about myself about NOT doing what those people are doing, turning on their computer, opening the Internet, signing on to their profile, writing a broken sentence with made up words (Internet words like lol, c u l8tr, ttyl, omg, r u, are meant to save you time as you type INSTANT messages instead of talking to someone with your voice, or heaven forbid writing a letter) about what you are doing this exact moment. The same goes with the abomination twitter. I wonder if people know that what they are doing every 20 min is not that important to everyone else. So back to why what i do is acceptable. I look at blogging as above the fore-mentioned, even with newspaper columns(paid less though), and lower than true authorship. If twitter was something where you wrote down complete thoughts and feelings, then i would be on board with it, alas it is not. FB and twitter are the products of our microwave culture. We the people cannot stand to sit down and read anything over 2 fragmented sentences unless it is an article about the latest celebrity break up or break down. Our leading magazines have the reading levels of a 4th grader. The most watched shows are "reality" shows. Rock and roll music has no guitar or keyboard solos. They are all three minute pieces about absolutely nothing but getting money. I apologize for my tangents. I have strayed off my chosen path so I shall sign off and go check people's facebook statuses.
i love you all

no title here sir

So i have decided to blog. I find this very narcissistic of myself. I don't really know what ill write yet but hopefully it gets published and i will never have to work again because of the money i get from the movie that's made of it. I have become a wannabe author. I cannot seem to get much more than a chapter of any story done so far but i enjoy it still. Maybe writing on here with stimulate my writing gland and the juices of creativity will overflow. So not sure what people write on these things...but I feel it will get better. Coffee has been on my mind today. One job i think i could do would to be a coffee farmer. My imagination takes me to a place where i oversee all these groovy dressed guys working coffee fields happily whilst i sit on a porch drinking the blackest most delish brew around. But i bet coffee farmers are like movie producers or fast-food resturant owners, in that they dont like movies much or eat their cheeseburgers. Oh well.
The jayhawks lost yesterday in the second round of the tourney...no i shant write anymore, the pain is still to near.
good night and good luck