Everywhere I am I yearn for something else. I live in small town Kansas, I yearn for something exciting and busy. I live in Chicago, I wanted to be in Africa. I live in the mountains of Utah and yearned for closeness of family and even missed the Midwest autumn. I live in Des Moines and see pictures of mountains and it makes me miss the mist covered mountains.
The grass is never greener on the other side is that other side is just another place here on earth. I am constantly frustrated by my restlessness and want of being somewhere.
I am reading some of Tolkien's early middle earth creation literature right now (yes i am super dorky and hope i stay that way) and it has, as does Lewis' Narnia stories, so many references and themes of man being in a world that is not his/her own any longer. The metaphysical longing of something/someone/some place that is not yet here or we are not quite at yet is all over.
I truly do want and long to be in Africa for a very long time. I do want to live in Chicago maybe again if I stay here in the States. I do love being around my family and friends. These longings of comfort or completeness are, I think, the shadow or echo of my true longing. To be in the place where the colors are no longer images of reflected light but visions of the True Light. To finally be completed as Man and for my nature to be as it should be. No longer broken and vile. No longer wanting. To finally see the Glory the all sunsets/sunrises, mountains, music, love, birds, books, smiles, seas, winds, prairies, leaves, creatures reflect as shadows on a cave wall. Follow the dogs for they are headed Further Up and Further In.
The grass is never greener on the other side is that other side is just another place here on earth. I am constantly frustrated by my restlessness and want of being somewhere.
I am reading some of Tolkien's early middle earth creation literature right now (yes i am super dorky and hope i stay that way) and it has, as does Lewis' Narnia stories, so many references and themes of man being in a world that is not his/her own any longer. The metaphysical longing of something/someone/some place that is not yet here or we are not quite at yet is all over.
I truly do want and long to be in Africa for a very long time. I do want to live in Chicago maybe again if I stay here in the States. I do love being around my family and friends. These longings of comfort or completeness are, I think, the shadow or echo of my true longing. To be in the place where the colors are no longer images of reflected light but visions of the True Light. To finally be completed as Man and for my nature to be as it should be. No longer broken and vile. No longer wanting. To finally see the Glory the all sunsets/sunrises, mountains, music, love, birds, books, smiles, seas, winds, prairies, leaves, creatures reflect as shadows on a cave wall. Follow the dogs for they are headed Further Up and Further In.
Nate, well said. Does writing about angst relieve it somewhat?
ReplyDelete--Han
perfect reading material this a.m. Thanks nathan...I think you should come back to chicago!
ReplyDeleteI know this restlessness very well.
ReplyDelete“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world”
C.S. Lewis
great quote kali and who knows kelly...im a a rolling stone
ReplyDelete