Oxes and Morons Run A Muck or Stubbed Toes in Transit

"Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another."     I was driving to work this morning and a swarthy looking fellow blinkerlessly wedged his car in the 11 feet that separated my front bumper and the pick up truck's back bumper. I rained expletives and tirades invoking wanted justice upon the back of his head.

As I cooled down, having realized that I was just coming to a stop light so I should have been braking anyways, I immediately was struck with his obscure passage from... I did not even know really so I had to look it up. It is from Zechariah chapter 7 verse 9, who knew? I pondered this thought. How does one administer true justice and show mercy to others? Now if you disagree with my base philosophical and theological belief, which is that we humans have fallen from grace and are deserving of damnation then we shall perhaps depart rhetoric here and now. I do believe that we have all sinned and rebelled against our maker. This sin is in many forms and shapes but whatever it takes shape as it is enough to separate us from Him. I pray daily that I may not receive my due justice. I also pray daily that I am shown mercy. I find it hard to link the two without them moving in opposite directions. My question is how does one show justice to a condemned populace whilst showing mercy to that same populace? I know this is counter to whatever we have going on in this day and age of self serving, gimme gimme take take society of vultures and ground squirrels who believe that they truly do deserve a ridiculously soft mattress, a shiny car and free health care. Don't stand and yell "Republican Bastard!" at me, I just do not believe we humans have done anything to deserve anything but worms and rotting flesh. (this comes from a person lacking health insurance FYI for all you who were saying it is easy to say that when you have it.)

So what does this look like? I ask it again because as I type I still have not been able to reconcile them. I sure do not believe true justice means frying criminals, no matter what they have done because that is not showing mercy and compassion, and I do not find any place in Christ's teachings where he gives society the right to kill people. On the contrary! He lifts judgements off death in favor of forgiveness and mercy!!! So maybe TRUE justice is the key. Have we fallen away from justice do far that Christ has had to bring the true justice that is only bestowed by Him in the form of compassion and mercy? Is the only way humans can administer true justice is by showing mercy and compassion? Maybe. I am spit balling here. 

A Crime against Codex?

    The steady, morose, doom impending sound of Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet, Ballet in 4 Acts throbs in my ears. My copy of Dickens's "David Copperfield" stares at me with judging and disappointed eyes. I feel as if I have done a dark and dastardly deed. My soul is torn between excitement and shame. I check my online bank statement again. Yes, I did it. It is right there. $79.00 charge from amazon.com.
Sigh...yes I have purchased a Kindle.
I was pushed over the edge. I am a product of this technological age. I had no chance.
When I saw that C.S. Lewis' "Space Trilogy" was nice dollars cheaper to purchase as a Kindle version, plus no shipping, I staggered. When I pushed my computer to block my view of aforementioned Dickens book and secretly clicked the button to see what amazon prime included, I broke. (a free trial of amazon prime comes with the Kindle purchase) I added to cart. I chose my payment options. I verified my shipping address. I then chose my FREE 2 DAY SHIPPING!
I stepped over Rufio's line drawn in the sand.
I am sure people have had this same experience in the past. The day in 330 A.D. when a weeping Roman laid aside his last scroll of "The Aeneid" and started to read from a codex. The day in 3000 B.C. when an Egyptian dropped his stone plates into the Nile and picked up his new copy of "The Mummy" written on papyrus. I am not the first or the last I shouldn't wonder, to commit Literary Adultery. The punishment will not fit the crime. That anti-glare screen will be pretty great.

Let us have a little help

I have a thing on my Internet page that gives a daily quote. I love quotes. You can tell them to people and feel super smart or pretencions, you can take them out of context and use them to justify you actions OR you can read them, think about who said them, ask what it means, meditate on how or if it translates to your culture or society. You can also still share them. I will copy paste good ones I read and email them to a friend once in a while to inspire them. It most likely annoys them more than anything I shouldn't wonder.
Well today's was particularly poignant and talkative to me. Some context into my current life...
I have been obsessed lately with the Body of Christ (The catholic church, catholic as in worldwide) and how things work internally and externally with it. The balance is always teetering, always tiptoeing on the knife blade and needs constant attention.

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
Martin Luther King Jr.

Now to some, this may seem kind of like a "duh" statement but I ask you how much do we practice this? We humans are quite incredible. We can run long distances, fight great battles both mentally and physically, invent amazing feats of technology, delve deep into the mysteries of science and though but we are awful team players. Now I speak from a context of living in America. A country that is constantly screaming of it's independent spirit and demanding that every person make it on their own. Yawn. Do not believe these lies. Every person needs people. The idea of self reliance and independent spirit was made up by the powers that were and be to keep us separated. (yes I love and believe conspiracy theories. In this day and age nothing is unrealistic.) The bigger we get as a culture, the more "connected" through social media we become, the farther away from real interpersonal interactions we get.
Now back to the Church. We are created in God's image. God has no body. God is presented as masculine but God is not male. (read C.S. Lewis' novel "Perelandria" to see a more well developed thought on this.) So image is not what we look like. It is WHO we are. It is how we as the only animals in this world are the only ones who are relational more than anything else. Dogs can be buddies but they do not set up towns and villages or get married. Homo Sapien must interact with others to be Homo Sapien. In the book "Into the Wild" the main character dreams on total separation from human society and everything he does is leading towards him finding his own Alaskan "Walden Pond" but when he finally does, he has an epiphany that life without others is no life at all. He tragically dies very soon after this. The point is that we need others.
In the Church, we hold fast to the scriptures showing us as The Body of Christ. We, like a body, are many different parts that make up a structure that thinks, moves, acts and hurts. Going to Sunday or Saturday services, taking the Eucharist, giving offering, listening to the sermon, those are all vital things but they are not the only things. We struggle to bring Sundays out with us to the rest of the week. The constant sharpening of each other cannot just happen if we meet and greet once a week. This is becoming very real to my Life Group. We have started to realize the importance of honest truth bombs, pain sharing, forgiveness, love through actions and words and the daily meditations required to live a a member in The Body. We cannot be who we could be in Christ, without the people around us. Stuffing our pain down deep inside ourselves, not sharing praises/griefs/struggles with our brothers and sisters, living without communal and meaningful prayer will keep us in a state of arrested development.
My generation loves to crap on The Church. We like to say it is vanilla and bland. That it is not relevant and living. We talk of its ineffectiveness in social justice.
I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be.
This phrase goes the other way was well. Others cannot be what they ought to be without me being what I ought to be. When we complain about the state of The Church, we witness against ourselves. If you call yourself a follower of Jesus than you are The Church and the sickness that you say has hold of it lives in you. We cannot go it alone. We cannot allow other go it alone. This will look very differently to many people, as well it should as we are so diverse. The theme is the same though.

Holy Noise/Bordering on Riot

Attended an Easter vigil on Saturday night. For those of you who have never been to one of these, I would say that it would be most agreeable or detestable to you. I will let you find out.
I will not go into the entire service as of right now as I have not processed it totally. The whole service was building up to the celebration of Christ rising from the dead and grave and therefore defeating sin and death and making way for mankind to be re united with God. Amen
So as the service went through it's paces, it culminated to a point where the Rector announced the resurrection of Jesus and the congregation, the priest, the pastoral members, the choir, the band and all creatures great and small went bonkers for I do not know how long. We screamed, yelled, rang bells, banged pots and pans, jumped, danced and just participated in general revelry in celebration.
As I was I yelling and ringing my bell, I felt an almost undeniable desire to throw my bell at someone and run around as I tore my shirt off, just go classically crazy. I did not do any of those things but pondered the feelings later.
How fine a line separates human emotional reactions. The same fire that fuels group worship of our Creator's victory is perhaps the same that fuels the riots and plundering of massive mobs. Before you call my pastor and get my kicked out, I am not saying God causes riots but that we humans have very basic emotions and very few reactions. Now how this come to fruition and what they cause or what outcomes results from them are very different. But that is the point is it not? If you are not a Christian, you will find my next statements very silly I shouldn't wonder.
We are fallen and all that grows inside of us and comes forth from our mouth, heart, mind and such is perverted. I use this word not JUST as sexual perversion but as meaning using something or doing something with same actions or same starting point but with an evil desire or outcome, ie Crusades, Spanish inquisition, abortion clinic bombings, early European missionaries murdering native Americans, Salem Witch Trials, almost every idea of sex in our culture, the use/love/desire/abuse of money...you get my point. Everything we humans do that is awful (which is mostly everything we do) could be and once was good. Adam and Eve were once perfect. They had our emotions, they had our desires and they acted as such BUT they were not fallen. They were Uber Man and Uber Woman. Nothing Man does can be correct without Christ providing the Grace to correct it. Our line is bent. Even if we start at point A headed towards perfection, the most minuscule of deviation will eventually result in out line being so far off perfection that we will no longer be able to see the True Line.
The same emotional starting point I had whilst celebrating and praising Christ late Saturday night, without Grace could easily be turned into a self righteous riot that could result in any sort of religious persecution. I think I understand what happened at Salem and why thousands of Christians and Muslims killed and are killing each other. This is why I am also able to say how terribly wrong they are as well. Understanding is not the same as condoning. I just wonder how much more effective we would be in showing truth is we understood how close we all were and but for the Grace of God how far we would all be from the True Line.
Anyways, I am done rambling. But I will leave you with this. I think a little personal riot on your own is not too bad. This world is ran by the enemy so let us riot continually but just in track with Christ. I can't tell you how each person gets on the Line but that there is a Line and we cannot be on it without Christ as The Line is Christ. Oh boy metaphysics!

and stretch...

Thanks to my pal Molly, I am using thewriteprompts.com to increase my limited skill as a writer. It is fabulously fun and I would recommend it to anyone. This one is using the following words to write for 15 minutes.
  bait
 •lighter
 •eerie
 •shhhh…
 •mechanic
 •word-of-mouth
 •caring
 •navy
 •cardigan
 •uncompromising
 •transport
 •rose

I have never liked the way information passed in the Navy. Word-of-mouth can sink a ship faster than a torpedo. I have been on this sticking hull of a ship for 6 weeks now. Maybe a sailor on a battleship or cruiser felt like a hero or inspired but men assigned to a cargo transport did not. A captain of a battleship seemed to be the quintessential man, uncompromising, brave, noble and uses words only when his cannons are empty. Our captain could not be more opposite. Instead of traditional captain's garb, he wore a cardigan and no hat. Appearances are more important than one imagines.  Maybe it was the nature of a ship like ours. We were like bait without a hook for the predators lurking in and under the north Atlantic. Our captain was probably a caring loving man on shore but on here he was a sly, sulking fidgety man. The ship took on the personality of the men who manned her. Our ship had no moral then.
It was one of the mechanic who first started the rumor. I do not know where he would have heard it but he said it.
 "Shhhh... you'll shut your cursed trap if you value your life!" the chief of the watch snarled at an unsuspecting seaman who had uttered the general consensus that was floating around the ship like a bad odor.
"Do you think it is true chief?" the embarrassed sailor meekly asked, desperately trying to get back into his good graces by asking his opinion.
The ship rose on the crest of the wave and then plummeted back into the trough. The chief spat the brown liquid that was developing from his quid and smoldered. His face became lighter at once, which made the scene only more eerie.
"Don't matter if it true or not, as we are all dead anyhow." the chief was maybe trying to inspire his boys or maybe he was just past caring now. 15 years at sea will do that to you.
The point was taken no matter what the thought behind the phrase was. The ship kept moving, the men kept grumbling. I have never like the way information was passed in the Navy.

No title here just a bear story.

The bear is not going to move. It was far too bad of a famine in the Wasatch Mountain Range to let a 200 pound meal to get away because of a little wait. I thought in the back of my mind, that I had heard the advice of playing dead to combat a bear attack. I think following that advice would lead to, not playing dead but being dead and digested I shouldn't wonder.
I could wait as well, you stupid hairy bastard. I tell myself this thinking I am talking to the great bear sitting outside of my man-sized cave with a child-sized entrance, but in reality I am most likely just speaking to trying to instill listless hope into my most desperate of situations. The beast has more fat and no student loans to pay. It has all the time in the world. It? I wonder if this is a girl bear or a boy bear. I do not care. I do not think gender has anything to do with sharpness of claw and biting of teeth. I have but a leatherman knife. It has a four inch blade. What are you going to do Davy? Stab the beast's eye ball and hope the curved scimitars on the paws miss me?
I scream like a banshee. I have never heard a banshee but I figure it sounds like me. The bear does not move outside of grunting with what I can only guess is hunger and annoyance.
I am almost sorry for how rude I am being with this terrible wait. "The olive garden can get like this as well guy." I shall converse with my vessel of doom. I am out of options. To stay here would most likely spell death by hunger or probably thirst before that. I have a nice rotund belly to keep me alive but alas I have no water. I lost it running away from a bear.
My ankle is swelling now. Broken I shouldn't wonder. F@#king bear.
It is not the bear's fault. I came into the home of the bear. It should kill me even if it was not in need of sustenance. I would have shot the bear if it had rambled into my house. Right between the damn eyes. I would have ballyhooed like a sandperson. I spit at the bear. I am immediately remorseful. Yes the animal is trying to eat me but it does not deserve my disdain just my fear. We humans disdain too much and fear too little. Or at least we fear the wrong things. Irrational fear is being scared of not having enought money. Irrational unfear is ignoring natural law and traipsing around in uncivilized territory that obviously does not belong to people but to bears. Big bears that eat any living thing it can catch within it's improbably immense grasp.
The bear will roar and then most likely be very silent outside of his munchings. I have decided that my bear is a male.
Baloo looks away down the slope at something. "Please leave." I do not say this but just think it.
I would gladly gamble my life on falling/running down the mountain side. I could make it. I do not want to pass out and die in a hole.
I wonder what life I will miss out on? What will my friends say at my bodiless funeral? I would hope they would put up signs and fliers warning people of the dangers or frivolous hikes through bear country. Bear country. If only my issues was with sister bear or brother bear. My problem would be them keeping me out of their superb clubhouse. I find it ironic that the more we paint a bear like a person the less savage they get and the more petty and mean they get. What if humans were more savage and ferocious and less petty? I guess problems would arise out of that as well.
The point of no return for several options is drawing near. The longer I stay here the weaker I become. I will be dehydrated and famished. My ankle will be more swollen. The bear will be hungrier which for some reason I feel will not diminish his killing capacity or at least not comparable to my escaping capacity.
I grab my leatherman. The beast is digging a hole. Grubs? I do not linger on the thought. He is looking away. I wonder if he has forgotten about me. Fear and trepidation.
I climb out as child out of womb. Just as helpless.
I run past. No time for a heroic stab of my knife. He most likely has thick skin.
Bears are stronger than people...and faster.
Oh well I tried.

Ride in...

The world is an awful place. Children are being forced to be soldiers, people are starving in our own country, millions of babies are slaughtered each year and humans generally treat each other and all other living things terribly. Contrary to what the google commercials are saying these days, humanity is not evolving for the better, we are not growing closer with our technology but finding new and different ways to destroy. Gone are the days where a King Arthur rides in too restore order and drives out they who oppress. This can depress me and make me feel helpless even with more resources and rivers of information than ever before in human history. We sit in the dark dank stable even as the feast is laid before us. All this I ponder on and yet this slow death we may look to the Bright Sadness. The Lenten season is upon us. We are trudging our way towards Holy Week. A time that The Church celebrates and meditates on Christ's journey to death on a tree by our hands and then to victory over death with His Resurrection. This is not a fable or a commemoration of a good man's life, it is the acknowledgment of God becoming a man, dying and coming back to life.
I pine for a moment when a host of riders would indeed traverse down the hillside to break through the lines and grant salvation to the Hornburg. I can lose my thoughts in what was and I can forget that our White Rider has indeed trodden down the enemy underfoot. The Battle is won and know He is calling to the survivors to Himself.

I say all this with the aforementioned terror of our modern decaying world not as an excuse for placing my head comfortably in the sand, but to freely draw my sword and charge. We may go out and give kindness to those who meet, we can give what we have (as what we have really does not matter!!!) to those who have not, we may die to ourselves as we are free to Live in Christ. The world is going to hell in a hand basket yes, but look around, we have people we come in contact with everyday to pull out of the aftermath.