No letter cursing please, the library is supposed to be partially quiet

I recently purchased Lewis Carroll's set of tales, Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass so I have decided to explore words beginning with the letter "F".

Friendship. I just spent a week sleeping on my two best friends dream inducing sofa. I was up in Des Moines taking part in Official Hogwarts business but in addition to that I ate succulent ribs cooked by Jake, phenomenal fajitas from Tim and Kelly, played more Tiger Woods 2004 golf than is good for anyone, shopped at the second best book store in America with Molly (first in price though, if you have not gone to Half Price Books in Des Moines and you love books, well you should go.), played childish yet immensely fun pool games such as dodge the torpedo, catch the torpedo, baseball, breath holding and arm spin contests. This is really probably not interesting to you at all but my point is if you are unemployed and have a week or so to go hang out with close friends then you definitely should because nothing helps your soul so much as people around you who love you and you love. As much as I like Simon and Garfunkel  we are not meant to be alone ala Genesis 2:18, our nature as creatures is too need affection in some way and to be truly full, give affection in some way. As much as I love and in some ways understand the teachings and writings of the Desert Fathers, I will say where they fall short is the lack of emphasis they put on the joy we are supposed to take in each other. The point here is that I am blessed beyond belief in the friendships I have in reality across America.

Next word, Fallen.

Sat in on a Bible/devotional study with my friend and his father in law and discussed the idea of sin/redemption/Christ etc.. and I was reminded to what I constantly need reminded of, we are fallen and despicable and need the absolute grace of Christ for Life. What makes this so terrible when I do not meditate on this fact is that not only do I suffer myself, I cannot approach anything in my life, be it a job, relationships, witness, philosophy or what have you, in any sort of a correct way. Once we have the saving grace working out the constant salvation is terribly hard but nothing in this world matters if we stop doing it as Solomon tragically found out. So I guess I will have to continue to keep standing up. So the idea of fallen leads into a pair of words that come from the understanding of that word, failure and fresh. C.S. Lewis said that the Creator takes much joy in the fact that we get up and keep going. I do not want to fail or fall but if and when I do we are graced with fresh starts. Friendships and faith are ever so vital in stepping into our fresh starts after our failures, even though we are so fallen.

Well I feel as if I am rambleing so goodnight. Oh yes and I stayed with the Flinkmans whilst in Des Moines and that starts with F as well.

Oh here's a little nibble of my past. I hope it's not too salty.

I found this as I was looking for my resume on my USB drive. I had forgotten about it. It documents the events of February 1, 2009. Enjoy.


Feb 2, 2009
GUNFIGHT AT VALLEY ACRES
Last night was a bit scary. I awoke at approx 3:30 AM, from some interesting but forgotten dreams to the sound and feel of a gun being shot in the room underneath me. I was confused at first and adrenaline rushed through me. My hands went to my body, frantically searching for a wound, nothing. I had the urge to run to the window, where I heard someone scrambling out of the window directly below mine. Within seconds, I deemed that going to the window might be a foolish gesture. I am amazed now at my thoughts in the early AM. I realized that whoever flew from the window could have either been the shooter or worse, the shot. My mind raced with thoughts of murderers below me cursing their luck that I was right on top of them. I imagined them realizing their mistake and soon rushing to my door and dealing with me. I was frozen for I do not know how long now. I feared any movement would betray me to the thugs below. As I sat there on my couch, an image from the Guy Ritchie movie, “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels” kept entering my mind. The scenes in which the “heroes” listen in quietly to the gangsters next door deal out drugs and plan evil schemes. My mind also went to my newly met neighbor, Chuck. I wondered if he was home or not. What were all the other tenants thinking about this time I wonder? Maybe we would all get the same thought and race out into the halls together and defeat the usurpers of our peaceful slumbers! I don’t think Chuck would be up for that. All this was thought of in such a short time. I was trying now to decide now to call the Police or not. Waves of doubt showered me of maybe jumping the gun and calling wolf. I didn’t want to bring cops here for something in the kitchen exploding. My mind started to forget what I heard. I wasn’t sure anymore if what I heard was a gunshot and weather anything had crawled out of the window below. Yet I knew what time it was and how loud and obnoxious these people were below usually. I had smelled the fragrance of illegal substances and partying creeping up from the apartment before. My mind was telling me “drug deal gone badly.” My fear of the shooter staying in the apartment began to grow. Why if someone was shot here, was the ambulance not arriving? Yet I did not move. Was I to be the victim of fear and imagination? I waited. I crept silently finally to the bathroom to relive myself. Since as I was sitting there, I realized how badly I needed to go. I dared not to flush since that might awaken my foes senses below. I returned to my silent vigil of sound. Eventually, mind you I don’t know exactly when, I laid down and waited. I believe I drifted off and awoke to different lights dancing on my walls. I spend the first couple of nights in a new place studying the surroundings. I had memorized how the lights lay against the walls in my kitchen/living room, and the beams where different now. I sat up, drawing in a slow and hissing breath. I inched towards the window. Silently I breached the blades of the blind. My shoulders relaxed and my stomach released its inner and unknown tension. There in the road and in the driveway of the apartment complex sat two police cruisers. Now I hold no love or hate in my heart for police one way or another. I feel that most citizens view the police force as comforting and wrathful as the servants of the Greek and Roman gods. For the most part we avoid them and their coming brings pangs of anxiousness and fear to our guts. Yet when we are in dire need and want, we relish their coming and rejoice for them as if we had been found by our long lost fathers. Right or wrong, this is what I feel most people, including myself, feel about our police force, and maybe we are right sometimes and I am sure we are wrong mostly. The feeling of rescue was my thought as I gazed out my window.
For the next hour I watched the police out my windows search the area for some clues or evidence. I took this time to text a few of my male friends who would care but not freak out and told them in short the situation. Only Flinkman replied. So thanks Jake, for either being up or waking up. I heard voices in the hallway outside and went to my door. Cigarette smoke was making its way into my place. I looked out my peep hole and could see that there was a couple of people, a guy and girl for sure by their voices, out there smoking like chimneys and talking with a cop. I started picking up what was said. Apparently someone came over that night to the party pad who the tenants did not know very well. Then I think a fight broke out and the stranger pulled a gun a discharged it and fled out the window, very slowly by the sound of it. Criminals in Des Moines are not as smooth as Chicago ones. Anyways, the cops stayed watch and I decided it was time for bed for this sacredly cat. It was 5 am now. My body had woken up quite a bit by now but was finally calming down. So I poured a stiff one, put a golf club close where I could reach it and went into some more interesting but forgetful dreams until 10 am.

"Who is Pokey Reese?"

I love summer. Here are some reason's why.

Reading books. There is nothing like waking up early or staying up late to read a delicious book whilst drinking a thoughtful and well written cup of coffee. One of the many reasons I will not get a Kindle is that they just do not look as good sitting by a steaming hot cup of coffee as a book does. On this topic and particular summer, I am very much excited by the weekend of July 15. I recommend that you research this date and your summer enjoyment will increase ten-fold.

Sam Adam's Summer Ale with a side of crackling camp fire added to it. Every year since I was 7 years old I have looked forward to the release of this delightfully refreshing brew. I enjoy it most when sitting around a camp fire behind my friends Jake and Molly's house. If they are there then that is a plus as well.

Sunburn. I am of almost entire British Isle descent. This means that in the winter you are able to see platelets and phagocytes running through my veins. I will regret it someday but right now I relish the slight burn of my skin and my freckles bursting forth enough to look like a quasi tan.

Grilling. It's cheap, it's fun, it's manly and it tastes ever so good. There is nothing you cannot grill. I once made an entire wedding cake on a grill, frosting and all. If you do not believe me I can and will not prove it to you. Also tagged with this is eating outside.

Golf. I compare my love of golf to Dostoevsky's short story "A Gentle Creature" The lady trails me along and I think I truly love her but I never get anything out of it except maybe summer likes 2 and 3 from above.

Traveling to Des Moines to beat Jake at tennis, prepare good food and drinks with even better people and to enjoy campfires. *author's note; I believe that I have only enjoyed a campfire twice there but it left a lasting impression on me.

Going to baseball games. I will go to any game in any stadium but I do have favorite stadiums and people to go with. First Wrigley Field bleachers with the right field crew from college. I know for a fact Brandon Phillips and Dámaso Marté will never forget us. Second place is Kauffmen Stadium, home of the most character building team in professional sports. I like to attend this one with Brandon Warren because it is always fun to watch him come crashing down on an unsuspecting woman while he is in pursuit of a projectile hot dog.

Music. A well placed song can put you into a state of blissful summerness. What is great about music in the summer time is that you can add to any of the above mentioned items and it works like magic. I resist giving you a list of what music to listen to as that is rude and presumptuous of me to think I know what would hit your summer bone.

So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause. Or "How much can we get for our souls?"

My title comes from Senator Amidala(wife of Darth Vader and mother to Luke and Leia Skywalker) after witnessing the dissolution of the Republic into the Galactic Empire. As I have watched college football crumble into the vile and base creature it is, I felt very close with Senator Amidala. College football used to be a grand shining knight who championed justice and amateur competition. Now it is a shadow of itself as it quickly walks to the prostitute of T.V. money. It's collar is up as it goes inside that wretched brothel so as to not be seen. The great has fallen. The evil seeds that were sown by the creation of the B.C.S. and the signing of contracts by conferences with T.V. channels have blossomed into enormous Rafflesia flowers.(these flowers are the biggest flowers in the world and give off a stench of rotting flesh. fitting I thought.) I feel much like King Tirian and his noble friend/unicorn Jewel, we have lived long enough to witness the corruption of what we have loved. If only I had died yesterday, I would have only known college football in a happier time. Now I said that for dramatic effect, I do not wish I would have died from what is happening to college football. Life will go on and be fantastic, I am just trying to show what is happening is as vile as Shift and Ginger bringing on the destruction of Narnia.
The blind lust of money is hitting home more for me than others because of the repercussions on my beloved Kansas Jayhawks. They are going to be a school without a conference. The evil B.C.S. will not let it have any type of bowl worth winning now. I know the limits of Kansas football, they are not Notre Dame. They do not that the history to buy them good bowl opportunity. Notre Dame was great but look at them now, they have no conference and now rely on ridiculous exemptions to get them top tier bowls and T.V. contracts that try to force people to care about them playing Duke in football. If they dance in front of you long enough you will start caring right? As much as the demise of KU football hurts, the real tragedy will be Kansas basketball. The Jayhawks have one of the most tradition rich, successful, loved, storied, great programs in the history of college SPORTS. Nobody wins conference titles like the Jayhawks. Now they may just wander the countryside of college basektball, looking for someone to play a non-conference game against them in February. I sigh...and wonder if this woe was brought upon Kansas by itself. Has the sin of firing Mangino caught up with them this quickly? Would the Solar System get away with kicking Jupiter out? I think not. University of Kansas, I ask you to put ash on your head, clothe yourself in sackcloth, and hire the biggest coach in all sports back. If you do this, the world of college sports will come back into balance. For now though, Anakin Skywalker has been grossly transformed into Darth Vader. The prophesy was misread, balance to the Force he did not bring. What or who will become Luke? Who will heal Vader back into Anakin?

Those of you who raise your eyebrow in boredom and skepticism at this post, beware. This killing of college sports is a mirror image of our country. Our nation is being bought and sold at the price of out freedom, and like socialistic health care not coming until 2014, the Big 12 will live on for a few more years in awkward feet shifting silence. The end is near and its spirit is gone but it has to go on for a few years until the money whores have everything is place to steal the teams for good.
P.S. I also would like to take this time to ask the Mountain West to accept KU and KSU into your family so they do not have to make a new conference called, "The Pitiable 2", because those commercials would be terribly short.

My only friend...the end.

Closed a chapter of my life today. Today was the last day of school at Hiawatha Middle School. This has been maybe the longest 10 months of my life. I have hated alot about my job this year, but at the same time I have met some fantastic people who have influenced my life and career. Twas odd indeed this morning as I drove to school, the song that popped up on my i-pod shuffle was "The End" by the Doors. This is the end of a part of my life that was small in space and time, yet huge in my mental and future development. I learned more about myself in these last 10 months than perhaps the last 10 years of my life. Maybe that is an overstatement but I have always been a fan of overstatements. I worked with six teachers from the 5th and 6th grades. I can honestly say that all six have influenced my future decisions and philosophies involving my teaching career. I will not go much further into that, as my fingers are starting to hurt. I feel like I should have words much deeper and metaphysical right now, but I am just really tired. It has been a long school year...

One pill, two pill, three pill..bliss.

Aldous Huxley's dystopian novel, "Brave New World", may be the most haunting look at the future society of man that I have ever come in contact with. In contrast to Orwell's "1984", Huxley's futuristic civilization is controlled by pleasure and ease instead of force and fear. People are not scared of stepping out of line because they fear retribution, people are not even considering stepping out of line. Staying in line is easy and full of little delights. This is what makes Huxley's novel more plausible, in my opinion, than Orwell's. After the development of modern republican democracy, people have stopped putting up with cruel and oppressive governments. The Soviet Union is the most successful example of a gov. imposing it's absolute will with force and terror, and it lasted less than a century. For short term results, brutal tactics may be enjoyed and employed by tyrants. Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito tried to take over the world by acts of violence followed by forced obedience. This obviously did not take with the citizens of the rest of the world. Even if the Axis Powers had won World War Two, I believe that eventually an enormous rebellion would have taken place. People do not like to be suppressed against their will. We have had a taste of "government by the people" and we like doing things our way. If men and women of power ever want to get serious about world domination, then they will drop the goose-stepping gestapo act and become our buddy who lets us do what we will, shoving soma down our throats to ease our "suffering" in this harsh world. This is what Huxley saw and I think Bradbury as well with his myth "Fahrenheit 451". Be subversive and herd people into their pens. Give them the feeling of self rule and freedom, and bingo, world rule for a long time. Most people are idiots and will not yearn for true freedom as long as they have creature comforts. People do not want choice, they just don't want be pushed. What is spooky to me is the fact that this may have already happened. We may be living under "our Ford" already. Maybe you should not read this...we could have our one-way ticket punched to the Falklands already. I thank God that I have investments elsewhere besides this planetary dimension, so I will not need to escape this enslavement at the end of a rope in a secluded lighthouse. Mind you, without God that would be the only sensible and freeing option if our world ever becomes totally ruled by fleshly desires.

This chair has awful lumbar support.

Just re-read some Chronicles of Narnia. I started with one that is in a 7-way tie for my favorite, The Silver Chair. Actually this would probably be my second favorite after The voyage of the Dawn Treader, because they both have my favorite character in them, Eustace Scrubb. His character is so much like humanity. Before meeting and getting to know the followers of Aslan, and finally Aslan himself, he is a treacherous slug. The person whom you cheer for to get beat up severely. You absolutely despise him for many chapters in the Treader. I will not get into that book now, but you should know that he eventually decides for Aslan over self and becomes my favorite character in the seven books. By the time we get to The Silver Chair, the following book, he is a Narnian vet with a new outlook on life and others. Anywho...The Chair reads like the life of saint. First the calling of Jill Poll and Eustace Scrubb, which saves them from the certain dangers of this world, yet asks them to face far graver dangers of another world. Poll is given a set of instructional signs which to follow whilst on their quest. These signs told to her by Aslan himself, will guide them to the finding want they need to find. Yet what I love is that never does Aslan promise that following the signs will ensure a safe completion of the quest. By following the signs they may indeed bring about theirs and others death. Like all humans, Poll and Scrubb struggle with following their Lord's signs and instructions mostly because of the desire for creature comforts and fear. Yet, they are provided with a conscious and protector. They travel into the wasted north of Narnia with one of the most beloved persons of Narnia, Puddleglum the Marshwiggle. He is the most despairing and positively negative creatures. Yes I meant to write that. He sees the absolute worst in every situation, but no matter what he sees, he is always determined to face the worst is need be. There is nothing so dangerous to the powers of evil than a pessimist who is to stubborn to listen to himself. This is what Puddleglum is.
I do not want to ruin the book for readers who have not finished this book so I will try to be vague. A thought that permeated my mind alot when I read this book is the question of destiny and will. The trio miff following the signs frequently yet it seems that by not following them they still end up finding their desired destination. God's/Aslan's will will always trump our mistakes. His plan will be accomplished. We can choose to follow the signs and instructions or not. We are called to follow to seemingly carry out His plan, yet when we stumble, the plans do not go array, we will just not be following what He calls us to. So our the signs for us? Are they just invitations to participate in His cosmic plans? Will what He wants be carried out by someone or something, or will He permit our mistakes to alter things? What if going to the House of Harfang resulted in the trio's death? Would the Prince and Narnia be saved by someone or something else or would the Queen's plan be carried out? Maybe it would have and then some other children would have been called into Narnia to thwart her reign similar to The Lion, the Witch and the wardrobe. This is the mystical knot in which i find myself entwined when I read this book and I love it.
P.S. For those who know this book, I believe the world of Bism to be the literary manifestation of Lewis' belief in aliens. Me to.